2011

12:03 PM flashesofgold 3 Comments

"So this is the New Year,
And I don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal,
explosions off in the distance."
-The New Year, Death Cab for Cutie.

Ah, the end of 2010, as voiced by the lovely Death Cab.
Although I have infinite amounts of love for Ben Gibbard, I will have to disagree just this once. I do feel a little different. I feel different most New Years Eves. As if another year has slipped away, right between my fingers. It's not exactly a feeling of regret or the worry of graying hair, it's more a feeling of fear. Although I feel the emotion isn't quite "big" enough to call fear, it's something like fear of forgetting, of letting the memories slip through into nothing. I treasure every moment I've been given, and I don't plan on forgetting any of it. But every New Years, it's a fear of forgetting that one song on the radio, the one that reminded me of my friends. Or fear of forgetting that one time I laughed until the contractions in my stomach gave me physical pain, almost as if I had done a million sit ups. It's things like this I fear will go to waste.

But I also feel a hopefulness for the future. I think it's almost human instinct to hope and reach for something not already possessed. And I can feel it too, the excitement of the unknown, of everyday being a journey. I can see the memories of 2010 flashing by, flickering images of one ridiculous picture after another. And as I look towards 2011, I can only hope that the new year will be a new batch of ridiculous pictures, of one unpredictable image after another, filling the nostalgic pensieve in my mind [yes, I did just use a Harry Potter reference].

For the new year, I hope for a lot of things. And I hope for a lot of things that I can help make into reality, some things that most people call resolutions.
1) I will be good. This sounds so simplistic, but I want to be able to look at myself and be proud of who I am. I want to strive to be the best I can be, and perhaps help others be the best they can be as well. I want to volunteer more and spread good.
2) I will stay fit and feel good. I think that losing a bit of weight and staying fit will help me to see myself in a healthy light and to feel good about myself.
3) I will try to read more. I really do miss the days when I could sit on the couch for hours on end and read, completely engrossed by the story within the pages. My reading list grows every single day, and it would be nice to catch up in the new year.

So goodbye 2010, it was a good one. One can only hope to make every moment of 2011 count as well.

3 comments:

brain farts. even more brain farts.

6:33 PM flashesofgold 0 Comments

Ah, the Michigan Difference. Contents are as follows:
-Lack of sleep [to the extent that it is impossible to sleep at a normal hour when time is allotted on weekends]
-Inability to think about anything other than school...thereby leading to
-An inability to feel the Christmas spirit...which then leads to
-Many, many brain farts.

Speaking in testimony of the brain farts, I gasped at a girl the other day. Literally gasped. staring at the wall in complete exhaustion, I didn't see this girl approaching at all. Poor thing, she was just a normal looking gal. Probably on her way to go meet her friends or something. But of course my inexplicable gasping probably kept her from feeling the same amount of confidence she once exuded. Probably cried for hours. Probably pondered about why a total stranger would gasp at someone else. Oh but wait, I know why. Because brains fart. In the most unfortunate situations. They fart loud and proud.

The Michigan Difference also prevents me from feeling the Christmas spirit. Sad, coming from a person who's tried so very hard to stay in the mood. From Halloween, actually. But I just didn't feel it. Not even when I was given a bag of granola, a jar of nutella, and fuzzy socks. Yes, I realize two of those things [at least I hope socks aren't consumed by most people...] are edible. Do I love food? Yes. Am I obese? No. Am I going to need lots of food to try and cope with my severe depression resulting from lack of holiday spirit? A billion times yes.

Speaking of holiday spirit, what truly gets me down is that I have not yet seen Home Alone this Christmas season. I could really care less if others don't consider it a holiday gem; I call it a Macaulay Culkin classic [Everyday I try to understand why someone would take joy in naming their child a tongue twister]. Not liking Home Alone would be like saying that you also didn't want to be friends with the pigeon lady in Home Alone 2. And I know that can't be true. It's got the comedy, love, family and friends. What more would you possibly want in a holiday classic?

Fun fact, little Kevin's 30 now. I guess I always remember him as the adorable little kid from Home Alone and somehow expect him to freeze in time, with his hands framing his cheeks, his mouth open in surprise. Maybe time is a real concept. Maybe I'm in college now and I never thought I would be. Maybe it really is okay to say that the 90's was a totally different time, because it was. I guess someday I'm going to look back and think, "Hmmm...where is the Macaulay Culkin in me?"

Or maybe not.

0 comments:

first.

9:48 PM flashesofgold 0 Comments

Speaking of first,

"This is the first day of my life,
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach."
Bright Eyes.

If music and I were to separate, I imagine I would become an old lady sitting with a ball of yarn on her lap, discussing her life frustrations to her cat Fluffy. So really, it will be a grand time. Cats, yarn, what more could a gal ask for?

Tomorrow, my hair will be the same. Except for a less than natural streak of purple. It's not as if there's any concrete reason for this particular deed. No, I will not be sporting an inking of a ferocious dragon or be rocking out an eyebrow ring, sadly for some. I guess it's always been an idea, just never actually done. "Carpe diem," as they say. Tomorrow I will seize the day.

My life is so boring that that becomes the highlight of my week. There are people who make it their daily missions to expose their wonderful [?] bodies to college students [I guess he woke up one morning and thought it would be a good idea?]. I am blogging about a streak of purple. Comparisons, shall we?

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