flashesofgold

Step step step to the lively beat

We’re soldiers in the scheme of ugly things.

At the cusp of ends and means we meet

Til the machine guns in our heads sound of endless “ping.”

At the beasts in our lives we shoot,

As the guns vibrate our creaking bones.

Thinking the beast dead we move boot by boot,

Seeking other prizes to call our own.

Greed, the child of Adam and Eve,

The champion of human life in nearby trees

Breathes air to revive defeated beasts.

It’s too late to note the only casualty is me.

I look back at my last posts, and to be honest I sound a little depressed. Right now? I'm at a good place in my life; I feel balance and stability and I can finally take a few moments to breathe!

So instead of blurbing about the whole year and everything I did, I've got a better idea. Music surrounds everything I do, everything I can remember, so why not write about that? Ladies and gentleman, number one reason why I love music oh so much.

***disclaimer: the music below is not indicative of my music taste. It is merely a way to trace my school year.

You know how it is...the music you hear no matter where you go. This song was impossible to avoid, seeing as frats have very potent speakers that not only reach those walking by but even those that are trying to sleep in their dorm rooms. Besides being every frat's theme song, this song also reminds me of the time Em, Lyd and I watched the terribly hilarious youtube video of the Indian guy singing this song. Indeed, the club can't even handle him. Ever.

Oh Ke$ha...yes, with a "$" in place of an "s," because how else would you spell it? Besides making a New Years resolution to not be a deusche, she's also managed to create a gazillion top hits for the whole world to enjoy. How lovely. This song in particular though, reminds me of Lyd's dear friends at Berkeley when I visited them for Spring Break. Her friends, being the silly kids they are, loved the song because, well, they took a very different interpretation of the title of the song. Nonetheless, it screams hoot and a half at Berkeley and I guess that's all that matters.

This song reminds me of football tailgates and Peter, because he loves dear Enrique. But mostly, it reminds me of football tailgates. I do miss the football season and autumn a lot. I can still hear all the crazy rowdiness of Ann Arbor as the fellow students get ready to back up their fellow wolverines in their preparation to be...badly beat. But that's okay, the spirit is what makes football games fun, right?

Firework reminds me of watching the music video with my friend Marcus, discussing the questionable "firework bursting out of her chestage area" argument. It also brings me back to singing the song with my dear roommate. And the combination of all Katy Perry songs reminds me of Mariya. Because she loves her and I remember listening to ET for the first time in her car.

Adore the girl, hate that she's on the radio now. Especially during the cold winter months I had my fair share of darling Adele, listening to her whenever I had time. The first time I heard "Rolling in the Deep" on the radio though, I've got to say I was a little disappointed. I texted my friend Rachel right away and we started discussing the hypothetical situation of what was soon to happen: all the sorority girls would soon start listening to her ONE song on the radio and say "OMG I TOTEZ LUV ADELE" and then I would be pissed because they don't even know her like I do, and then Rachel and I would then proceed to cry. Point of the story, Adele belongs not on the radio, but in my heart.

So there it is, a compilation of some of the music that has become a memory in reminder of some of the events of my first school year at Ann Arbor. It's true, I have been touched by the Michigan Difference.

And I don't feel any different.

The clanking of crystal,

explosions off in the distance."

-The New Year, Death Cab for Cutie.

Ah, the end of 2010, as voiced by the lovely Death Cab.

Although I have infinite amounts of love for Ben Gibbard, I will have to disagree just this once. I do feel a little different. I feel different most New Years Eves. As if another year has slipped away, right between my fingers. It's not exactly a feeling of regret or the worry of graying hair, it's more a feeling of fear. Although I feel the emotion isn't quite "big" enough to call fear, it's something like fear of forgetting, of letting the memories slip through into nothing. I treasure every moment I've been given, and I don't plan on forgetting any of it. But every New Years, it's a fear of forgetting that one song on the radio, the one that reminded me of my friends. Or fear of forgetting that one time I laughed until the contractions in my stomach gave me physical pain, almost as if I had done a million sit ups. It's things like this I fear will go to waste.

But I also feel a hopefulness for the future. I think it's almost human instinct to hope and reach for something not already possessed. And I can feel it too, the excitement of the unknown, of everyday being a journey. I can see the memories of 2010 flashing by, flickering images of one ridiculous picture after another. And as I look towards 2011, I can only hope that the new year will be a new batch of ridiculous pictures, of one unpredictable image after another, filling the nostalgic pensieve in my mind [yes, I did just use a Harry Potter reference].

For the new year, I hope for a lot of things. And I hope for a lot of things that I can help make into reality, some things that most people call resolutions.

1) I will be good. This sounds so simplistic, but I want to be able to look at myself and be proud of who I am. I want to strive to be the best I can be, and perhaps help others be the best they can be as well. I want to volunteer more and spread good.

2) I will stay fit and feel good. I think that losing a bit of weight and staying fit will help me to see myself in a healthy light and to feel good about myself.

3) I will try to read more. I really do miss the days when I could sit on the couch for hours on end and read, completely engrossed by the story within the pages. My reading list grows every single day, and it would be nice to catch up in the new year.

So goodbye 2010, it was a good one. One can only hope to make every moment of 2011 count as well.